After Crisis on Infinite Earths, Batman’s continuity received a bit of a face-lift. While he did not get a hard reboot like Wonder Woman or Superman, several key parts of his elements of his history needed reworking. The most dramatic change was that given to Jason Todd, the second Robin. Before Crisis, Jason Todd was nothing but a carbon copy of Dick Grayson, who was growing too old for the sidekick role. For the post-Crisis continuity, Jason became a very different character. Batman #408 marked the debut of this new “improved” sidekick. But this issue is not only remarkable on that account. It also happens to be one of the most ridiculous Batman comics I have ever read.

The issue begins with an intense standoff between the Joker and Batman and Robin (Dick Grayson). The Joker manages to shoot Robin through the shoulder after poking fun of Batman’s “anti-firearms fetish.” You think there is a website dedicated to that? Needless to say, Robin makes it out alive, although a news copter gets the impression he has been murdered. As for the Joker?

In the aftermath, Bruce decides that he cannot afford to have a partner and basically fires Dick from the position of Robin. It’s a rather awkward conversation as Batman repeatedly mentions how he can no longer willingly put a child’s life in danger, even though Dick makes it perfectly clear that he is not a child but a young adult and is perfectly capable of taking on goons like the Joker. He’s the leader of the Teen Titans for God sakes! Still, Batman does not relent. Dick is fired, it’s insinuated that he will then become Nightwing and everything is hunky dory again.

Well, except for the fact that the media still thinks that Robin is dead. For anyone who remembers the “War Crimes” story arc from a few years back, which related to the aftermath of Stephanie Todd’s death, this panel should seem familiar.

Good to see some themes will never die. Or be adequately resolved in any way.

Another panel that should seem familiar to contemporary readers is this one of Vicki Vale, the reporter spearheading the campaign against Batman, anticipating a date with Bruce Wayne (OMG Bruce Wayne!) in what else but her undergarments?

For anyone who was troubled by Vicki’s pre-date T&A parade in All-Star Batman and Robin #1, I submit that it was nothing more than a throw-back to this earlier, classic issue. You can start mailing your apology notes to Frank Miller and Jim Lee now.

Bruce and Vicki have lunch together where she asks him to sponsor an anti-Batman citizen’s group, leading to this classic exchange:

First, I love seeing Bruce Wayne claiming to be a case of “liberal guilt.” Within the context of him being Batman, the phrase essentially means nothing. Secondly, is it canonical that Wayne Enterprises has anything to do with the manufacturing of weapons? Having Bruce shut down plans of munitions production is a common plot device, but has it ever been established elsewhere that his fortune is a result of munitions production? I don’t think so. Get your facts straight, Vale! You bleeding-heart liberal! Take your yellow journalism elsewhere!

Later, Bruce confronts some pickpockets. Instead of beating them all up and hanging them from a lamp poll, which is what he would ordinarily do, Bruce takes a dive so that no one would ever suspect him to be Batman. But why does no one help Bruce?

I cannot help thinking this is a snarky jab at the media response to The Dark Knight Returns, or maybe just the obvious themes within the story. In any case, it’s fun to see this lighter, mainstream continuity as spiteful as his Millerfied counterpart.

Turns out it’s the anniversary of Bruce’s parents’ death and on this night every year, Batman focuses his attentions on Crime Alley. Trouble is, all the criminals in Crime Alley have calendars and can at least put two and two together. They all take the night off, leaving Batman with nothing to do but stroll down a well-lit street exchanging pleasantries with pimps.

For another take on this awkwardly unBatman-like panel go to Dave’s Long Box.

So after taking a night little walk in plain sight, maybe getting a hotdog or browsing the newspaper stands, Batman makes it back to the Batmobile, only to find that the wheels have been stolen.

Owned.

Batman cracks up at this and I must admit I did too. I can’t help but think he totally deserved it for not only being totally predictable but for also being lazy and not even try to stick to the shadows while on patrol.

While Batman is checking out the damage, the thief, none other than Jason Todd, returns to finish the job.

Owned again! By a twelve-year-old! Again! Welcome to the worst day of Batman’s life.

Batman shakes it off (although the shame never fades) and follows Jason to his room in an abandoned building. He makes a deal with the kid. He won’t take him to the cops or child services if Jason agrees to attend Ma Gunn’s School for Boys, a remedial school run by a kindly old woman. Jason agrees and they casually walk over, maybe getting some ice cream on the way. But what should happen as soon as Batman leaves?

An old woman smoking a cigar and talking like a gangster! Comedy gold.

NEXT ON BATDANCE!: Batman chills out with the Commish and Jason learns the this and thats of nines and gats.

Take it away, James the Musical Batman!