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Monthly Archives: October 2006

Robbie luvs She-Hulk

In semi-recognition of Ragnell and Kalinara’s Beefcake/Cheesecake Appreciation Week, I thought I would share some comic book hotness, albeit with a twist. Instead of posting select panels of cheesecake, I’ll instead focus on a single character that I almost consistently find insanely hot. She is the the Savage Supersexy She-Hulk.

Damn, girl!

Um, where was I… oh yeah! You see, normally I have a very hard time talking to people once they begin spouting off about how hot a character is. It’s typically the artists who are responsible for a character’s apparent sexiness, on account that superheroes aren’t real people. Whether it’s Catwoman, Power Girl, Jean Grey or Black Canary, the “hotness” of characters is almost always just a matter of how they are drawn or presented in a particular instance. I say “almost” because, for me, there is one glaring exception.

It’s hard for me to put a finger on exactly what I find so attractive about She-Hulk. She’s a successful lawyer and she can beat the crap out of pretty much anyone. Those factors are both sexy on their own. She also doesn’t have a distractingly ridiculous costume like Psylocke or Wonder Woman*. Of course, I can’t really pull a finger on what her costume is since she is almost always in a bathing suit, but this isn’t a post about complaining over the absurd oversexualization of female heroes. This is about the cheesecake. And yes, the green skin is part of the appeal.

And here is where I make a shameful confession (as if drooling over a fictional green lady isn’t pathetic enough). I’ve only read a handful of She-Hulk comics. They really aren’t that good, so while I love She-Hulk, I’ve only really read a couple of stories that feature her. The current series is alright, but nothing to write home about. The original series, now criminally collected in a colorless Essentials book, was written by Stan Lee. Given Lee’s record for writing strong female characters (he doesn’t), it’s safe that I will never be picking it up. I wonder how She-Hulk feels about Stan Lee?

Don’t take that from the old douchebag, Shulky! I would love to see Stan Lee brutally beaten by one of his female creations. Or just throw him through a wall, for that matter.**

For now, it seems that She-Hulk will remain my guilty pleasure of pure eye candy. Hopefully some day I will be able to write something about She-Hulk’s personality or how awesome she is outside of the realm of hotness, but not this week.

Okay, so that’s my cheesecake appreciation post. I know it’s stupid and sexist but I can’t deny my hormone-fueled love for that green-skinned hottie. I will now go back to writing about stupid comic books and how I hate Virgin Comics advertisements, never to mention She-Hulk again at risk of looking like a complete pig.

But before I end this, there is room for one last, gratuitous bikini-clad She-Hulk.

Yikes.

*I should clarify that while I find Wonder Woman’s costume to be silly looking, I still think she is awesome. And so do plenty of other She-Hulk fans considering all the WW/She-Hulk femslash fanart I found in creating this post. Psylocke, on the other hand, is just stupidly slutty.

**I mean, “Stan Lee is an incredibly creative man and is responsible for the best characters in comics.” Yeah…


I hate this Virgin Comics banner

Every time I see this animated banner ad for Virgin Comics’ 7 Brothers, I am first confused and then annoyed. I must voice my disapproval.

My issue with this banner stems from the tagline “Comics will never be the same again.” What ticks me off about this is that each time I see this add I automatically think that it is for some upcoming Marvel comic because the characters shown look EXACTLY like older, well established characters. Ripping off character design is nothing new to comics.

First there is the dude who looks just like Wolverine sporting his trusty, if not nonsensical cowboy hat. Really, do many Canadians wear cowboy hats? Anyway, it looks just like Wolverine, right down to the gritty, inky and intense action pose. If the character’s hands were in frame, I would expect three foot-long claws sticking out of each.

And then there is the guy who is all leather and spikes, and I can’t really say that it looks like any Marvel character. It looks a bit like one of DC’s Female Furies as drawn by Amano Yoshitaka. Certainly a pale S&M enthusiast for a villain is nothing new.

And then Dr. Strange shows up! The first time I saw this banner I had to have it cycle through several times before I realized that it was not Stephen Strange at the end. All the text indicates that the banner is for 7 Brothers, which most people know is for Virgin, but they someone who looks exactly like Dr. Strange is in there. It blew my mind. The guy has a flowing red cape with a tall, horned collar, short black hair and possibly a porn star mustache. And he’s being all mysterious and mystical. That IS Dr. Strange.

Every time I see that frame I forget what this banner is for and begin to wonder what Dr. Strange story Marvel is trying to promote. (Other than Brian K. Vaughan’s kick ass Dr. Strange: The Oath miniseries.)

Curse you Virgin Comics! I thought ripping off characters from the two major publishers died with Youngblood!


Oh yeah, Trajectory died.

Yeah, so I finally got around to reading 52 Week 21 last night and I finally got to see what all the controversy was all about. Trajectory, a throw-away character from a throw-away team from a throw-away storyline in a book that I am sometimes wanting to throw away all together, was killed. She was a girl.

Now, I do understand that women have gotten the short end of the stick for fall too long in comics. Actually, they’ve mostly gotten the business end of laser guns, axes, refrigerators and Dr. Light. Comics have an awful history of brutalizing female characters where the male characters almost always come out clean and heroic. In comics, when a man dies, he is a martyr. When a woman dies, she is a plot device.

But I don’t think this really is the case for Trajectory, the speedster of Lex Luthor’s Infinity Inc. who had her neck twisted (off?) by some random villain being called the “new Blockbuster.” She was clearly always meant to be killed off (murdered by Luthor, in fact) which is a bad sign, but she also, with the exception of Natasha Irons, was the most fleshed out character in the new Infinity Inc.

Of course, it is very sketchy that her career highlights were being hooked on drugs and being murdered, but we also knew her motivations and personality, which is more than we can say about the other members of Infinity Inc.. I can’t even list the other members of Luthor’s little troupe.

Now, I think it’s pretty obvious that all of the members of Infinity Inc. is going to loose their powers by the end of 52. That would mean that even if Trajectory wasn’t killed (let’s say whichever one came from Gary, IN got his head ripped off), she till would have fallen victim to depowering and then obscurity. My point is, all of the characters of Infinity Inc. are made to be forgotten, so why should people be upset that the one who is given the spotlight but is also killed happens to be female? Would it have been better if she had remained in the background only to be depowered and tossed aside?

But then again, other than the well-established Natasha Irons, Trajectory was the only female character on the team (I think?). What were the odds she would be the one to be brutally killed?


Pull List: Make it awesome

Because I’ve noticed that Digg is lacking a comic books category, I decided to do something about it. Thus I created Pull List, for all your social comic book bookmarking needs.

For those unfamiliar with not familiar with how sites like Pull List work, users find cool comic related news or sites and submits a links to such sites. Other users then check the submitted links out and, if they like what they see, give the stories votes. The more votes a story has, the cooler it must be. Also, users can comment on the links just as they could on a forum and the RSS feeds make Pull List work very much like a blog.

Join Pull List and help make is awesome.


A few thoughts on Nightwing #125

When I heard that Marv Wolfman would be writing Nightwing, I got excited. Mostly because Wolfman and Dick go way back and I was sure he would drop that Jason Todd crap that Bruce Jones was using during his “One Year Later” arc.

I swear, I will boycott anything that features Jason Todd from no one. That dude must really be a zombie because whenever he shows up he stinks up the comic to high heaven.

Back on topic, I was looking forward to Wolfman writing and when I picked it up at the comic shop and saw that Dan Jergens would be drawing it, I got a wave of instant nostalgia. But it didn’t take me two pages to realize that I really wasn’t going to like this issue.

I will admit that it is better than Jones’ crappy scripts, but that’s not saying much. The issue is incredibly dated with Wolfman’s sometimes chunky dialogue (and that narration, good God!) and Jergen’s art looks exactly like it did fourteen years ago when I though he was the shit. This issue is way too retro for me.

There are a handful of really bad parts, like Raptor, who is some spaz in armor that somehow is able to take down Nightwing without even trying. Raptor’s dialogue is especially bad. At one point Nightwing says something about how Rappy claims to have not killed someone. Raptor replies “I didn’t. But you’re not him!” I then expected him to say “I know you are, but what am I?” soon after.

And now we have new babes to fawn over Dick. There’s Ryan who is a masseuse and then there is her roommate Zen, who is a bit of a ultra-liberal poststructalist Asian background character. She doesn’t approve of the system of family names but she’ll name herself after an Asian philosophy? Want to make a pool as to how long these two stick around. I predict they will leave as soon as Wolfman leaves the book.

And the script is a little spotty. I wish I had scans on hand to illustrate this point, but you’ll just have to trust me that I’m totally right. Transitions between scenes are really, really jarring. On one page the scene shifts three times without any visual cues of transition. One panel has Dick, the next one is of Raptor across town, then back to Dick a few panel’s later. It’s just very sloppy and I haven’t seen that level of poor transitions since the mid-eighties. Oh, yeah, it’s Wolfman. And the only book of his I have is Crisis on Infinite Earths, which I never finished due to lack of interest and readability. Nostalgia has clouded my judgement again!

But it’s not all bad.

The stuff with Dick trying to get back to himself is interesting. Of course, I don’t understand why he can’t find a job. He’s one of the best heroes in the world, but he has no employable skills? He can’t do some networking with those Wayne family connections? Whatever, it’s still cool.

And then there is the shower scene, which I do like because it shows a male character clearly being eroticized, just like female characters always are. If it were a woman in the same panel no one would have batted an eye, but since it was Dick it really stands out. Good. I hope there are a thousand homophobic fanboys burning down forums in flamewars over it. And the slash fans are probably going rabid.

And the best part is just meta this comic is. One of the new Monitors shows up at the end, telling Dick that he was supposed to die in the Crisis and evidently it is a problem that he didn’t. What is so cool about this is that Dan Didio, the editor-in-chief of DC Comics, wanted Nightwing to bite it during Infinite Crisis. Luckily, someone with half a brain saved Dick from this fate.

I really think we were very close to losing Dick there if you look at Infinite Crisis #7. On the page where Alex Luthor shoots Nightwing with some kind of energy gun, it looks like he is just knocked out, but Batman goes apeshit and holds a pistol to Luthor’s head. My theory is that this page was drawn before it was decided that Nightwing would live but before it was sent to printing a word balloon indicating that Dick was dead was omitted. He was then added to the scene where Bruce and Tim sail off into the sunset.

Anyway, I think it is awesome that Wolfman is making a plot out of Didio’s editorial stupidity. The art, clumsy transitions and awful dialogue really turn me off of this run, but the meta nature of the plot has me too intrigued to stay way.